5 Things to do in the Line to Pick Up Your Kids

1. Hack the matrix to see if you can make the car in front of you go any faster.

2. Raise Billy Mays from the dead to teach you the ways of the perfect infomercial

3. Look out of the car window and realize that it is now the year 4078. Humanity has been trapped in an endless loop of carline pickup since that fateful day in 2017. Elmo is now dictator. Road rage zombies prowl the streets. The end of humanity is approaching.

4. Fall into a numb state of contemplation. Who are we? Where are we from? Is life real? Is the Royal family from Mars? If Brangelina is dead, is love real? Is Larry the Cable guy part of the Illuminati?

5. Ponder the existence of cryptids. Get lost in two hours of supposedly confirmed Loch Ness monster footage on the Deep Web and live to tell the tale. Book a plane ticket to that island in Colombia that’s supposed to have dinosaurs. Order a set of security cameras online to see if that rustling you hear at night is a raccoon or is actually Bigfoot. Actually go on an expedition to Skull Island to find King Kong. You’re in the dismissal line, anyways- you have more than enough time.