The Seven Stages of Summer

Summer is Here

1. Summer’s here!!! It’s about time, honestly. You hug all of your friends goodbye and promise to keep in touch. While you 100% mean it at the time, the reality is that the odds of that happening are very low.

2. FUN! Its around three weeks into summer and you feel invincible. You’re hanging out with all of your friends, you’re going to all the coolest concerts, and you practically live at the beach. This is great! You wish summer could go on forever.

3. Now, you’re starting to get bored. The last time you saw you best friend forever in the whole entire world was LAST WEEK. You feel like you should go outside, but you’re forcing yourself more and more each time, until, one day, you have a revelation. Why go outside when you can just go online?

4. It’s official. You have now become a Netflix gremlin. The pale glow of your computer screen is the only source of light in your dark, shuttered room. It casts blue light on your face as you scrollthrough endless content. The onscreen clock says that it is noon, but you don’t feel like it is. Having your windows closed and lights off all the time is really messing with your internal clock.

5. Time has reached a total standstill. Days blend with nights which in turn blend with the days after them. Someone asked you what day it was and you responded “July. I think”. You spend hours, or maybe days, staring at the ceiling in deep psychological musings such as, if vegetables are called greens, why aren’t meats called reds? You feel like a new age Freud, but you know that the world isn’t ready for your great ideals just yet. You let yourself forget. You’re so bored. When was the last time you moved? June?

6. OMG. ITS AUGUST ALREADY! WHERE DID SUMMER GO? SCHOOL JUST GOT OUT YESTERDAY!!! You panic, and pull out of the state of constant seel you had been in for most of July. You call all of your friends and try to cram in as many sleepovers, movies, concerts, and hangouts as you can in between now and the beginning of school. Oh and who could forget – back-to-school SHOPPING!

7. A week before school starts. You’re not sure how you feel about it. You’re excited, but do you want to sit through another nine months of government ordained torture? Really? Well, whatever. There’s always next summer.